Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Patt & Debbie Compromise

Hey all! This is Patt Riot, the Assistant Manager of Those American Girls! Alicia is too busy working on the last stages of her new album and her upcoming TV pitches, so she asked Debbie American and me to take over the conservative blogs.

I of course took immediate exception to the idea of Debbie writing a conservative blog, since her main qualification is she's dated a lot of republican men. Debbie took exception to me writing a blog called, “Bikini Tea Party,” since I've never even owned a bikini. This set off an argument about my belief that modesty is an expression of self esteem and that girls shouldn't feel the need to flaunt their bodies just to get attention. Deb's counter-argument is that dressing glamorously is an expression of self-esteem because it brings men to their knees and gives women power they didn't have before.

Finally, Alicia shouted for us to both shut up and gave us her plan:
1. Debbie takes me shopping for new shoes and a bikini, and teaches me how to walk in high heels so that I'm glamorous enough to write “Bikini Tea Party.”
2. Debbie has to keep Fox News on in the background at her job at the record store and pose for a new “Modest Monday” pic each Monday Yippee!

So Debbie and I went shopping yesterday, you can see one pair of my new shoes in the picture-- it's like standing on stilts! But I'll get used to it. We'll premiere my first bikini pic NEXT week (CRINGE).

Tonight, I'm setting Deb up on a blind date with one of my guy's best friends-- a real conservative. He likes modest girls so after work I get to take Deb out shopping for the kind of outfit that will net her this man. Should be... I was going to say “fun” but let's say “interesting!”

I don't know if I'll be here next time or Deb, but we'll be back soon!

OMG Casual Meyhem's new rant is up!
You can read it here: