Hey
all! This is Patt Riot, the Assistant Manager of Those American
Girls! Alicia is too busy working on the last stages of her new album
and her upcoming TV pitches, so she asked Debbie American and me to
take over the conservative blogs.
I of course took immediate
exception to the idea of Debbie writing a conservative blog, since
her main qualification is she's dated a lot of republican men. Debbie
took exception to me writing a blog called, “Bikini Tea Party,”
since I've never even owned a bikini. This set off an argument about
my belief that modesty is an expression of self esteem and that girls
shouldn't feel the need to flaunt their bodies just to get attention.
Deb's counter-argument is that dressing glamorously is an expression
of self-esteem because it brings men to their knees and gives women
power they didn't have before.
Finally, Alicia shouted for
us to both shut up and gave us her plan:
1. Debbie takes me
shopping for new shoes and a bikini, and teaches me how to walk in
high heels so that I'm glamorous enough to write “Bikini Tea
Party.”
2. Debbie has to keep Fox News on in the background at
her job at the record store and pose for a new “Modest Monday”
pic each Monday Yippee!
So
Debbie and I went shopping yesterday, you can see one pair of my new
shoes in the picture-- it's like standing on stilts! But I'll get
used to it. We'll premiere my first bikini pic NEXT week (CRINGE).
Tonight, I'm setting Deb up on a blind date with one of my
guy's best friends-- a real conservative. He likes modest girls so
after work I get to take Deb out shopping for the kind of outfit that
will net her this man. Should be... I was going to say “fun” but
let's say “interesting!”
I don't know if I'll be here next
time or Deb, but we'll be back soon!
XOXOXOXOXO
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
OMG Casual Meyhem's new rant is up!
